Oh my goodness I just need to vent!

Last night my son and I had a really horrible night! I’ve shared in past episodes of the show how he has become very physical with me (hitting, kicking, throwing things, etc). It doesn’t seem to take much of anything to set him off in one of his outbursts!

Last night I allowed him to stay up a little later than normal because he didn’t have school today but at 9pm he was mouthing off to me so I told him ok shut the TV off, brush your teeth & get into bed.

The boy went into total freak out mode. Screaming, punching the couch, kicking the couch; then he got off the couch & started picking things up to throw at me so I grabbed him and was trying to put my arms around him to control him but he slipped through my fingers and I got kicked a couple times and punched. I finally get a hold of him and get him in his bed and he’s screaming at the top of his lungs and then he starts throwing all the blankets, pillows and sheets off the bed. I told him ok now that you threw everything on the floor you can lay on your bed like that for awhile and that set him into an even deeper rage than what he already was in. I picked up the phone to call his dad and he ripped the cord out of the wall & slapped the phone out of my hand.

That was the last straw for me! I lost it and started yelling at him which only set him off even more and we had a very heated LOUD argument. I finally had to leave him to his rage in his room and lock myself in the bathroom with the fan on because I couldn’t control my temper anymore & I didn’t want to continue yelling and hollering at him!

It was HORRIBLE! I’m pretty sure my blood pressure was at the boiling point last night. And I thought for sure that today would be better but it’s started all over again. Actually today he hasn’t been violent yet so I should say today is a better day than last night.

I have to say that Friday can’t get here fast enough. It’s his weekend to go to his dad’s and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t looking forward to him spending the weekend with his dad! I seriously need the break from him right now!

With Thanksgiving last week and then me being a little under the weather I decided to not post a show this week.  I’ll be back next week

My friend Heather over at Desperately Seeking Sanity posted awhile ago (I had this post all prepared but forgot to publish it so figured I’d go ahead and share it) about an issue that she was having to deal with that involves her first grade daughter and a boy on the bus. For the full story, click here

Although my story isn’t quite as ‘harsh’ as hers it did remind me of something that just happened with my 9 year old son and an 8 year old girl that lives here in our apartment complex. And maybe I just over reacted because after all I do remember being Caleb’s age and how fun and exciting and harmless it was to pass ‘love’ letters back and forth. Anyways…the story goes like this:

Caleb comes bouncing through the door a couple days ago with a piece of paper in his hand (for him not wanting me to know what it was he sure wasn’t concealing it very well…lol) so naturally I asked what it was. He was a bit hesitant about telling me what it was but finally he handed it to me.

Now that I’m sitting here writing about this, it does seem kind of silly that I reacted the way I did. It was a note, form the little girl that lives a few apartments down, showing Caleb and her holding hands. She drew a big heart in the center of her chest and wrote I love you Caleb. At the top of the page she wrote are you my boyfriend?

I had the talk with Caleb again (we’ve had this conversation every year for the past 2 years because he seems to think it’s appropriate to have a couple girlfriends!) about how he is only 9 and too young for a girlfriend and he can tell her no he isn’t her boyfriend.

I should of known he was up to something when he said he was going to write her a note. He wrote two notes - one for me to see and one for ‘her eyes only’ The one he showed me said no I am not your boyfriend but the actual letter he gave her said I am your boyfriend (and I only know this because he told me).

I guess I didn’t really need to react the way I did but I just don’t want him growing up thinking that having a girlfriend (or in his case having a few girlfriends) is all that life is about. And as harsh as this is going to sound…I don’t want him following in his father’s foot steps!!!!

Every school year I dread the same thing - parent teacher conferences!  And every year I always here the same thing from the teachers…Caleb is such a wonderful kid, he has a heart of gold and he likes to help others (great right?  yes it would be if they would stop there!) but BUT (I really have come to despise this word) he talks too much, he really struggles with writing and reading and spelling (then they mention that he excels in math - which is beyond me how the kid got any math genes because I stink at math & it’s not his dads favorite thing either…lol).

Ok I would be satisfied and ok with all that if the teachers could leave it at that but again they don’t.  They always ruin it by bringing in another but here.  So back to the conversation - blah blah blah but blah blah blah but he fidgets too much, he angers easily, he disrupts the whole class.  I’ve tried moving him away from so and so and that didn’t work so I moved him again and that didn’t work so I moved him by desk away from all the other kids…blah blah blah.

I KNOW my son likes to talk, I KNOW he fidgets, I KNOW he can be disruptive but quite frankly I’m sick and tired of hearing it from every teacher every year!  I hate the fact that he’s been labeled as a ‘bad’ kid ever since kindergarten and that this label has followed him around each year.  I hate the fact the teachers get notes from the previous year teacher and have this preconceived idea about my son before they even meet him.  It just isn’t fair.

Public school has been nothing but a nightmare for my son and I hate to think that he’s only in 3rd grade (should be in 4th but I held him back in 1st grade) right now.  (sigh).

Oh and for the record - my son is doing fairly well in reading now, his writing still stinks, he hates spelling and now the one thing he used to excel in (math) he is falling behind in so he’ll be getting some extra help in that area.

I’m running behind schedule so it will be later today before the show is up and ready.

I’m a total airhead!  I just mentioned my show on Monday’s Mom’s Morning Show but yet here it is 12:17am Tuesday night (well Wednesday morning) and I don’t have a show up (sigh).

I’ve got to get some organization together or I’ll never keep this thing going.  I think it’s just so new to me that I don’t know how to put all my thoughts/ideas, etc together to keep a good flow going.

I will be emailing a couple people about joining me as guests on the show and that will help alleviate the “I’m sick of hearing myself talk”  mood

Free for the weekend anyways! Caleb just left to go to his dad’s house until Sunday night. I feel kind of ‘guilty’ about doing the happy dance but I need to relax and enjoy some down time so that I can recharge my battery and gear up for when he comes back home.

Of course then when he gets home after a couple days at his dads I have to ‘retrain’ him. So maybe the break isn’t always a good thing…LOL. But I’m really looking forward to a nice quiet weekend
Tishia

As I got to thinking about it I feel that I sort of portrayed, in the first show, Caleb’s dad as the ‘bad’ person, the one that made the breakup happen.

I have to admit that I played a big role in the ending of the relationship also. Keep in mind please that I was a COMPLETELY different person back then! I was very selfish, jealous, wanted everything my way or no way, and I nagged a lot plus I would pick fights just to pick fights.

So on next week’s show (make sure to tune in on Tuesday!) I think I should at least take a few minutes to set the record straight that it took the two of us to tango!

I figured I should give a quick little intro into Single Moms Talk Radio before launching my first show. So here it is